I asked my social media followers and friends if they have any questions about writing poetry, and Aaron Burrow asked, “Where do you find the confidence to share your poetry?”
The transition from just writing to writing and sharing isn’t easy. It certainly wasn’t for me. I started writing poetry during junior high as an emotional outlet. It was what you might expect from someone that age–sappy, self-absorbed, sloppy. Part of me knew that I had more to offer, but it would be a few more years until I started calling myself a poet.
I claimed that title near the end of high school or beginning of university, but I had only shared a few verses with close friends. It would be a few more years before I started sharing my poetry with an audience beyond those few. Those friends deserve much credit. Without their urging, I may have forever hidden my words, myself. When I began sharing my poems publicly, I was overwhelmed with fear of judgement and a good dose of stage fright.
But I did it. I scouted out a few open mic events. I mumbled my lines. I sulked to my chair hoping people would leave me alone. Thankfully they didn’t. A few people stopped by my table and let me know how certain lines affected them. In a good way! I didn’t know what to think. Were these just nice people who complimented everyone, or was I finally becoming a poet (several years after I started calling myself one)?
These early experiences didn’t magically fill me with confidence, but they were encouraging. I started sharing more often, usually two or three poems at open mic night. Each time, even though I was still apprehensive about sharing (and about hearing my voice amplified), was easier than the previous time. I also began writing more. I felt that some people were beginning to care about my work (Fans? Can I call them fans?), and I wouldn’t want to let them down by reading the same poems each week.
Confidence was sneaking up on me. The act of reading publicly still frightened me, but I started feeling better about the quality of my work. I also began feeling limited by the 10 minute sets at the open mic I frequented. I was ready, or at least my writing was ready, for longer readings. In December 2010, I gave my first full-length reading. I read for about 45 minutes to an audience that included about 15 friends and a coffee shop filled with students studying for finals.
That reading impacted me more than the lot of short readings. People who hadn’t come to hear my poetry approached me. A writing professor I’d invited had many kind things to say. My friends didn’t give me pithy compliments as I feared. They were engaged. They had favorite poems and lines that they wanted to discuss. I realized that my simple words had changed the atmosphere in the room.
A few days later, I was contacted by the manager of Ida Red Boutique about giving a reading there. That morphed into something that wasn’t merely another one-time event. A few months later Third Thursday Poetry Night got started, which I still organize and host each month. We’ve moved to Topeca Coffee’s Roastery, but it’s still going.
When I started sharing a few poems three or four years ago, I couldn’t imagine that I would be not just reading but hosting a poetry event. Am I confident now? I don’t know. Microphones, spotlights, and waiting audiences still scare me, but once I start reading I let my poems, in which I do have confidence, do their work. For me, confidence wasn’t a prerequisite for sharing. It’s something that’s coming along as I go.
Definitely agree with this Randall……. making the decision to share poetry is not an easy one. I’ve had the passion to write poetry for as long as I can remember. I don’t know if it was age three or four that my mother was writing my words down for me. But over the years I only shared that secret with less than a dozen people. I’ve always considered the drive to write poetry as a gift from God and have held it dearly close. But this year, after 52 years, I decided to share my poetry for the very first time. And I’m glad for that too. I can’t really say that I know of anyone whose life has been changed or whose spirit might have been moved by my poetry. But if God did give me this passion, then I have come to believe that He meant for it to be shared. Plus, it’s really good to get feedback on your work, I think……..
I still have to force myself to read to an audience, Randall. Confidence is a fleeting thing for me, so fleeting I rarely feel its presence until I’m into the reading, usually after the first poem. Each piece is a separate, breathing thing, a life of sorts, and so too is every audience. And so, by default, a living poem changes based on how you read it, and each audience listens or hears you differently. So many factors are involved in a good reading, a fickle thing. A great poet doesn’t just write and publish; she or he reads consistently, creating the proper poetic image every single reading. It’s unfortunate, but true: you’ll never be great without being able to write, publish, and READ consistently. Lots of risk there, but even on bad outings, someone in the audience makes my day with a smile, a nice comment. I just wish I could muster up confidence five minutes prior to a reading, not five minutes into it! Thanks for the post, my friend. As always, well done.
I really liked this post. Reminded me of a Virginia Woolf quote – “for she had the odd conceit of a writer that words written are shared.”