Method Monday: Go Back in Time

Before you get too excited, I’m not writing about actual time travel today. Until someone gets the physics figured out, your best chance for time travel is finding a spacial anomaly. Of course that’s risky. You may not end up at your desired point in time, and it may cause a dimensional shift instead of, or in addition to, time travel.

"The Time Tunnel" 20th Century Fox

The time travel I propose involves looking back at your previous writing. I do this most often when I’m having trouble writing new material. I get out my old notebooks (even the ones from back in high school) and flip through the pages. I don’t think my writing was as good back then (at least I hope I’ve improved), but sometimes I stumble across something I can use now.

I’ve written before about my slush pile of lines that don’t yet have poems in which they belong. That’s often how these old poems work. Even if I’m embarrassed by the work of young Randall, I find individual lines that work well. I then use these lines as a prompt for a new poem. Sometimes it isn’t a line but an idea. I may find that I inadequately approached a theme 10 years ago that I’m now ready to try again.

You don’t always need such a utilitarian approach. Sometimes I just look through my old notebooks to remember. It takes me back to that time but with the knowledge and experience I now have. It can be fun to relive those times. It can be frightening. No matter what emotion(s) arise, sometimes one just needs to remember from whence he/she came.

At 28, I’m not the same writer, I’m not the same person, I was at 18. At 38, I’ll be yet again a different person. Life is a journey, and there are moments when interrupting the linear flow of time is exactly what we need.

Friday Favorite: Mark Doty

Mark Doty is a highly accomplished contemporary poet, but there’s a distinct lack of pretension in his work. His poems suggest a mind that is always surprised and elated by life’s experiences. And he invites us to appreciate life with him. Here’s a 2009 reading at Cornell University:

U2sday: Let me be your lover tonight

This U2sday happens to fall on Saint Valentine’s Day, so I thought it fitting to feature one of the band’s love songs.

“Even Better Than the Real Thing” appeared on U2′s 1991 album Achtung Baby and was released as a single in 1992. Even if you’re cynical about Valentine’s Day, at least the music video has Bono in leather pants. Enjoy.

A Modest Proposal

After a terrible autumn and a couple months of recovery, I stand ready to reboot my blog.

I’m not actually standing.

When I started this blog, I tried to make it a writing blog, one that would just focus on my writing process and products, but I think broadening my scope will help my update consistency. Many posts will still be about writing and/or reading, but, sadly, I no longer feel comfortable sharing poems here (I caught someone using one without crediting my authorship).

In addition to broadening my topic base, I will also try following a schedule. Whatever that is. I hope sharing my proposed schedule will provide a sort of accountability, especially if you harass me when I fail to follow it.
Here is what I have in mind:
Method Monday–about my writing process
U2sday–about an Irish band that’s had some success
Wordplay Wedsnesday–words, words, words
Random Thursday–What?! This one isn’t alliterative (unless we consider that Thursday is often abbreviated with an R)
Favorite Friday–about a favorite author
Saturday and Sunday will be left open. I might post; I might not.

So that’s the plan.
(Plan is subject to change with or without notice. Blog interest rates are variable, but I’ll always loan you money for less than payday lenders charge.)

Thus ends the boring housekeeping post.

Semester of Psychosis

Last semester, I took my last undergraduate English course, except for Capstone (Senior Paper). It is a bittersweet milestone for this English major. I feel a sense of accomplishment, but I have more non-major courses to complete before I am awarded my degree. The next few semesters will feature completing minor (Psychology) and general education requirements.

Spring 2012 is the Semester of Psychosis. I have two psychology courses, Psychology of Personality and Abnormal Psychology, and completion of these will satisfy my minor requirements. I’ve only attended one class session for each course, so it is too early to tell how beneficial and/or interesting these courses will be. I do expect to end the semester with another bittersweet feeling. I’m so close to finishing my degree, but the little things (gen eds) slow me down.

I hope Psychology of Personality fulfills my curiosity about personality theory. I’ve given some amateur attention to it, but looking at the theoretical basis for each model should be different than the surface level understanding I currently have.

Abnormal Psychology will no doubt interest me. Who doesn’t want to learn more about schizophrenia or bi-polar disorder? My experience in the non-profit sector working with people with mental illnesses should compliment learning the academic side of things.

This semester also includes researching graduate programs, which I will apply to this fall. I plan to pursue an MFA in Creative Writing. So far, my research has included looking at Poets & Writers Magazine’s list of top 50 MFA programs and dreaming about the schools that offer generous stipends. But I’ll be honest with myself and you, dear reader, my undergraduate record probably doesn’t warrant placement in most of those programs. It’s taken 10 years for my BA in English, and my GPA is only 3.0 (though a couple semesters of gen eds should bring it up a bit).

I still have time to figure out graduate school options. For now, my focus is on the Semester of Psychosis.

Nothing Changes on New Year’s Day

Those in the know will recognize this post’s title as lyrics from U2′s “New Year’s Day.” It’s among my favorite songs and exemplifies my emotions on this holiday. There is a tension between hope (“though torn in two / we can be one”) and a pessimism that negative aspects of the status quo will continue (particularly violent conflict).

Some people invest a lot of hope in a new year. They see it as a time to refresh and refocus. And, of course, set goals. I’m sure you can find many bloggers listing their New Year’s Resolutions, but you won’t find that here. The other typical blog is the Year in Review. I did write something that might fall into that category as part of The Tulsa Egotist’s “What I Learned This Year” series.

I’m not against reviewing past experience, refocusing, and setting goals for the future, but for many (maybe most) people New Year’s Resolutions don’t accomplish anything. They never did for me. Resolutions are generally expected to be pretty substantial goals (weight loss, smoking cessation, etc.), and one is also expected to have several. I have big goals for this year, but if I commit to those on January 1st, then I will try to reach for them simultaneously, which may not be an appropriate course of action.

Maybe 2012 will be a significant year in my life. I’ll set goals as I go along. Some will be reached. Some won’t be. Others will simply disappear into the sea of the forgotten. January 1, 2012 is here. So far, nothing has changed more than what changed when December 30 became December 31. “Nothing changes on New Year’s Day,” but there’s hope. And that is a good thing.

By the way, here’s the music video. Thank God Bono eventually got rid of that mullet.

Fall 2011, the Semester That Nearly Killed Me

Okay, slight hyperbole. I stayed far from the grip of death (unless you consider how risky driving in Tulsa is).

I started the semester with four classes: Utopian Literature, Psychology of Infancy and Child Development, Personal Health, and Math for Critical Thinking. The latter two were online courses.

About halfway through the semester, I dropped the math class. Apparently online is not the best method for one’s weakest subject. Personal Health should have been easy, but I allowed myself to become disorganized and missed two tests. The Psych class was too easy. I aced it without even cracking my text book.

Utopia is what nearly did me in, though. The reading schedule required several hundred pages per week, which is common for literature courses, and I did not keep up. This led to low quiz scores and my inability to finish all of my reflection papers. It would be easy to fall back on the excuse of a busy schedule for my low performance in this class (full-time job, family obligations, etc.), but I’ll be honest. I just wasn’t motivated.

My motivation problem could be attributed to the depression cycle I fell into during the semester. The last few months have been very difficult personally, and my course work is only one casualty. If you follow this blog regularly, you know that this is my first update in quite some time. I also haven’t been writing much poetry. My paperwork at the day job has been late, which isn’t unusual, but it’s even been late when it could’ve been on time.

I don’t mean this to be a pity party. You’ll be happy to know that I’ve begun feeling much better during the past couple weeks. I hope this is the upswing out of depression. To those to whom I’ve been an ass lately, accept my sincere apologies. To those who’ve expected things from me that I haven’t come through on, I’m sorry.

This semester didn’t kill me, so now it’s time for me to start living like I mean it.

Cheers,

Randall